Thailand on Foot

HIYA!

I guess it's time to get around to writing about the cleanse that I did at the end of December.

I started on Saturday, the 23rd? I met the monk that morning and he asked me to stop eating that day. I had thought I would eat the rest of that day and Sunday too but decided I'd just do what he asked. I'd had breakfast but nothing after that.

My friend Sunmi translated various things. We sat and talked for about 20 minutes I guess. He said I should exercise twice a day, roughly 30 minutes or more, and vigorously enough to break into a little sweat. I should wake up at 3:45 and go to the temple for the morning ceremony with another monk. That lasted from 4:00 until about 4:40. I should take about a teaspoon, three times a day, of this bamboo salt. Do as much meditation as I can, an hour at a time if I can. Walk a little in between sittings. And do some yoga. He gave me a little instruction on meditation. I think that was about it. He's really a friendly guy. Lay people here believe he's enlightened. I have no feeling one way or another. I just give it the benefit of the doubt that he is enlightened.

I worked a few hours Sunday and afterwards went to the temple to start my program. I meditated alone that night. Then went to bed about 10pm. Pretty tired so sleep came easily. Got up at 3:45 the next morning, headed to the temple for the ceremony but didn't really understand what to do so I copied the monk's moves the best I could. The monk who does the ceremonies is not the guy who they all say is enlightened. This other guy and I don't communicate much. Not that we could because we don't speak each other's langauges. After the ceremony I sat and meditated until around 9 am. Sitting on and off. Doing some chanting on my own. I like the sound of the chanting and they say it helps you to meditate.

Well, I can make a long story short. I was exhausted by the end of the day, and pretty much all day the two days I was there. So little sleep. Had I done this with a group there would have been more stimulation and I would not have been so energyless all the time. Plus the exercise really sapped my energy. I slept on and off during the day. I didn't feel like pushing myself.

So Wednesday morning I decided to return home. I told a lady, then left. Got home and slept! I continued the fast / cleanse, and some meditation (but much less) and continued the exercise (about the same as at the temple). But got much much more sleep and so felt much better. Also took some sugar for some energy. But really it didn't give me any energy. It's just that the monk ok'd it so I wanted it. It tastes good! Brown sugar. Not just the white stuff with molasses mixed in.

Ten days of this and I'd had it. I really wanted to eat on about the eighth and ninth days, I guess it was. The craving lessened a bit on the ninth and tenth days, I guess, but I was going to work on that 10th day so wanted to eat.

I ate. Had ten tangerines that 10th day. I thought I might have tons and tons of energy but didn't really notice anything much. But the next day, I had a small breakfast and then had a fairly normal amount for dinner. Didn't sleep at all that night. Not a wink. And wasn't sleepy at all either. Right into the next day. Whenever there's a day that I don't sleep at all one night, I'm hurting the next day. But not this time. I know it's not a good idea to not sleep, but there was just no way. So I studied a lot of Korean language that night!

In summary, I'm glad I did it. No regrets. Tomoko once told me she doesn't ever want to regret anything. - Are you there Tomoko? - Regret is a choice. I choose not to regret. I tell myself pretty often that I'm not going to regret what I'm doing. I don't always like what I do but I never regret anything I do. I might do this again in the summertime. But if I do, I don't want to do it alone.
There's a group that is finishing up either today or tomorrow. Seven days. Some will fast longer but the meditation period is over I think. I went to the temple several times to meditate with them, and to give my support. I see that it must have been a very different experience for them. Very different.

I lost some weight but don't feel weak in the least. I have just as much strenght as ever. I look thinner in my face and certainly look too skinny in my body, but I don't worry too awful much about it. As I exercise more and do yoga, my body will fill out. My eating is getting more and more sensible all the time too. That helps.

Ah, enough,
Troy.

HIYA!

(Just looked at the weather report. Says a high today of 4 celcius and a low of -1. But will windchill a few minutes ago that was already -6! Yikes. Coldest days so far. In F those temps are, I think, 32/30/22! Coldest day yet, I'm sure. It's pretty windy out there now. I think I won't go out anytime soon. The rest of the week is supposed to be sunny but the temps, according to the report, will still be real low.)

Never mind this article if you aren't interested in reading Buddhist talk that "doesn't make sense". (There is however, information about the program.) I love this sort of talk. But I also realize that loving this sort of talk is an obstacle to really understanding this sort of talk!

The connection between fasting and seon meditation
Interview with Daehyo Sunim

“Through mistaken desire, we ruin our lives. If we can reduce our appetites, we can also control our desires.”

Because we have only one life to live, we don’t know what to do.

In Milan Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being, the evanescence of life is portrayed as the fundamental cause of all suffering. We are unprepared for our experiences. We cannot retract mistaken choices we have made. We can encounter similar circumstances in the future, but it won’t be the same. Through effort and introspection to some extent we can forestall, but we cannot go back to before the damage was done. Time cannot be reset. Finally, Kundera comes to the peculiar conclusion that “one life is the same as no life.” If we can live but one life, it is exactly the same as having lived no life at all. If this is so, where is the truth and meaning in life?

At the Wonmyeong Seon Centre on Jeju Island, Daehyo Sunim runs a programme consisting of fasting while practicing seon meditation. For one week, participants focus on the hwadu without eating at all. When I met Daehyo Sunim on August 8th, about thirty people were practicing in the dharma hall. In the only region of the country where coconut trees grow, they sat unmoving in the intense summer heat. Some participants made time before or after work to attend. The programme was so popular that some participants extended their week’s practice to a month.

However, fasting during seon practice is not very common. What is the connection between fasting and seon meditation? Sunim explains, “One of the objectives of meditation is the cessation of desire, and fasting is a real help toward attaining this goal. Through misplaced desire our lives are ruined. Craving for food is one of the fundamental human desires. There is no one who can survive without food. We can try to cut through such a fundamental desire by fasting.” He asserts, “If we can reduce the craving for food, we can cut through all our desires.”

While dieting is prevalent, we unceasingly seek to satisfy our desire for food. For health or beauty, people isolate themselves from the outside world, spending money to fast. Programmes at ordinary fasting centres are somewhat complex. Before starting a full-scale fast, there is a preparatory fasting period. Following the fast, during a recovery period about three times that of the fast itself, one must take only liquids and gruel. Side effects are not uncommon. Many patrons are patients with gastrointestinal disorders, and it is common to experience a relapse following fasting. With their stomachs completely empty they feel extreme hunger. Confident that they can now digest anything, they recklessly eat whatever they can find and immediately become ill.

Daehyo Sunim provides fasting practitioners with salt roasted in bamboo stalks, a supplement providing minimal sustenance. It is important to drink warm water; it takes energy for the body to absorb water cooler than body temperature. Water which is around body temperature can be consumed without harm. In this way physical strength can be maintained while the feeling of extreme hunger is prevented, and thus it is possible to fast for periods of more that 30 days. He says, “Even diabetics, for whom fasting is often regarded as suicide, benefit from the programme at Wonmyeong Seon Centre.” Sunim’s knowledge and experience result in the remarkable success of this fasting treatment.

The rapid growth of the diet industry has resulted in many programmes expounding fasting as a “good method”. The most dangerous after effect is the rejection of food. Instead of reducing the desire to eat, one becomes enslaved by the desire to not eat. If one cannot break through the hwadu “why?” one struggles between desire and aversion, which are nearly identical.

He explains that, “fasting can become a turning point in our lives. There are times in life when we say “this is not right.” But even when we decide to change direction, because of our accumulated habits and lingering attachments it is not easy. We want to change but cannot. Fasting can be of help.” The resolution to live correctly arises out of the practice of fasting and meditation.

Most people think of fasting as lying there and lethargically watching their bellies sinking. However, Daehyo Sunim encourages people to combine exercise with fasting. “Participants take daily walks, vigorous enough to break into a sweat. Having gone without many meals, exercise is not easy. It can take a great effort to take a single step.” Thus, each step in taken in concentrated mindfulness.

“When fasting, you naturally become irritable. However if you keep walking, at some moment you will realize that your discontent comes not from not having eaten per se, but rather from not being able to eat.” One realizes that anger and unhappiness are products of the mind. “It is very important to understand the original source of hunger. Then our perception not only of hunger, but of all things, can change. The realization of the true nature of hunger can be actualized through the practice of Ganhwa Seon.” Daehyo Sunim presents the same hwadu to all practitioners: “What was your original face before you were born?”

“Throughout our lives we always think, “I am me”. Whether life goes well or not, we always believe “this is my life.” But what is the “original me”? The one who enjoys enviable success and good fortune? The one who suffers failure and malaise? We can’t define exactly what it is. Yet this is natural, because these things are nothing more that illusions endlessly appearing and disappearing.”

The historical Greek philosopher Heraclitos declared, “One cannot step into the same river twice.” We may reproduce something similar to what we have in this moment, but it cannot be exactly the same. For example, the recent Gulf war and the Crusades of the eleventh century have some similarities in the cultural conflicts that caused them and their many casualties, but they are certainly not the same incidents. History can be repeated but not reproduced.

The problem of the self that Daehyo Sunim is talking about is the same. “Since everything that arises will inevitably cease, in each passing moment, the “happy I” or the “unhappy I” is just this. Biologically speaking, I came to be at the moment I was conceived in my mother’s womb. Through life I have had many experiences and am left with as many memories. Ultimately, there is an equally unimaginably large number of “I”s. But again, I stress that there is no “I” that has existed from the past. Even in this moment, it disappears in the blink of an eye. Life is finite. But the teaching of “No Birth, No Death” in the Heart Sutra is a universal truth. If so, then originally, what am I? The “I” that was not born and will not die; that which was present before I received this body from my parents.” In an absolute sense, there is no “I”. It is an illusion arising from the long-standing habits of body and mind. This sheds some light on the peculiar conundrum posed by Kundera.

We suffer from our attachment to outside form, forgetting our true selves that existed before we were born to our parents. Sunim says, “Why are we so busy without knowing why, with alienation between people endemic? All of our problems arise from clinging to this “I” which does not exist.” He further advises, “Look closely at the “I” that existed before you were conceived by your parents.” This is No Birth, No Death and the Middle Way.

“Let’s take the example of a baseball game. Our player comes up to bat with two out and the bases loaded. With all eyes upon him as the audience shouts his name, he must be really nervous. If he feels that he absolutely must hit a homerun the pressure will make it difficult to swing well. However, if instead he altogether lets go of the idea of hitting a home run he will certainly strike out. It is important to be free from the thought of either hitting well or hitting poorly. He must become one with the bat and the ball. This is the true self before being born, and exemplifies the middle way”.

In the Blue Cliff Record it says, “When living, just live. When dying, just die. Then all fear and anxiety disappears.” Life itself does not give rise to temptation, nor does it complain. It is only the mind itself that agitates our tranquil lives.

HIYA!

At the beginning of December my boss told me there will be a one afternoon class, of sorts and asked that I go. I said I wasn't sure. I told him I wanted to do a meditation retreat at the temple. He asked me what's more important, my job or my religion. I told him I didn't feel like there needed to be a choice. One day, one afternoon
out of a whole year! C'mon.

We talked about paid vacation days. My contract says I get five in winter and five in summer. It doesn't specify exactly when I can take them. A paper that my boss typed up and handed to me the day I arrived for a little orientation at the school said I'd get three in winter and three in summer, plus of course all the national holidays (as my contract also says). I remembered the contract while my boss remembered the paper he typed up and gave to me during my orientation.

At this time he told me that he pays me a monthly salary, which includes weekends because I get the same pay regardless of the number of days in a month. This doesn't work. I don't get this at all. I feel that he was trying to find some reason to coerce me in to working that one afternoon. I told him that if it were someone else saying this to me, that I'd really suspect them of lieing to me. I don't know what to think of him telling me. We've always had a good working and personal relationship. Nothing like this had ever come up. Nothing like this has come up since then either, I'm glad to say.

In the end, we compromised. I'm getting four days off. But he has told me again and again that I'm getting the five days off. I have told him that I don't see how he's counting this five days. I get Monday, the 25th, which is a national holiday (yes, Koreans do celebrate Christmas but I don't know to what degree. I'm told that about 25% of the population regard themselves as Christian, 25% as Buddhists, and 50% as having no religion. I'll write about Christianity, as I encounter it here, in a blog entry someday. Not tonight). Tuesday the 26th is off. Wednesday the 27th is the afternoon that there'll be some sort of party at the school. Actually, I'd like to go. But I'll be at the temple starting maybe Monday. I don't want to postpone the retreat just so I can have some snacks and chit chat with students for a couple of hours. I think there's going to be a movie. I forget. Anyway, though I would like to attend, it's not worth it. Then Thursday and Friday the 28th and 29th are off. So, as I count it, I am getting 4 paid days off. I can only say that my boss is counting with his math, and, to quote Tony Snow, Bush's advisor and in Bush's cabinet I think, I'm using "the math" (he said this in reference to the number of casualties in Iraq. I'm pretty saddened by the carnage in Iraq. Once I find some trustworthy organization, I'll help impeach Bush. The guy and his henchmen are a menace to the planet and everything that breathes). Though I've told my boss the way I count this four days, he doesn't respond. I don't want to push. I'll take the four versus the five. No biggie. It's better to swallow this one than demand one more day.

The bosses seem to be somewhat cold to me lately. But they've had a very busy and very stressful time up until the present. So I don't know how much they're dissatisfied with me and how much they're stressed about other things. I know they don't have a happy married life. My boss has told me numerous times that they fight all the time. They also do translation and my boss was incredibly busy with one job every day for a month. Then right after that he took on another, and then another. So, they're real stressed with translation too.

We've been talking about changing textbooks because the ones I use are disgusting. Downright rotten. But he's making some changes. One of the books will remain the same but we'll require the kids to buy the actual book instead of the horrible partial photocopy that my boss made up and had published. It's bad bad bad. He agrees too, and I'm glad. The other book I use is just inappropriate for the age levels and for the kids' abilities. Too hard for most of them and the material isn't engaging the little kids. It's an adult book and we've foisted it on these little kids who are dying in the classroom. I can't get my boss to see this. So I'll do what I have to do for eight more months and jetison this history like a suitcase full of dirty underwear! The smell is foul foul foul!

My first month here my boss invited me out to a drink. We agreed to do this once a month. We haven't gone out the two of us since then. Yesterday I invited him, my treat. He declined yesterday, and then again today, with a reason that I believe. He said maybe Thursday. I don't want to go out and drink any later than Thursday because I'll fast starting probably Monday.

Seems I have more money in the bank and that I save each month than my boss. So I told him I'm happy to pay. He's told me several times that he's just barely getting by. That could very well be considering what I know of his life. He's got a family and two businesses. I don't any of this. I'm happy to treat him to a few drinks and a bite to eat. A couple of things he's said suggest that he isn't so keen on the idea of me paying but I've told him that I'm happy to pay.

As of this evening, our relations are not as warm as they were during the honeymoon phase but much warmer than while we had that talk about paid vacation at the beginning of the month.

Enough,
Troy.

HIYA!

One more that I've been wanting to say. Persimmons. Boy, they're delicious. I've been eating lots lately. But I've also been feeling like they're hard for me to digest. So last night I went online to look up something regarding this. Seems they've got lots of fiber, more than most fruits. And I've read where some people can't digest the fiber real well. One person said they should be peeled. I have been doing that already.

This morning I put five peeled fuyu persimmons in the blender along with a dash of cinnamon. Nice. I have liked bananas and cinnamon blended and one day recently thought that persimmons might be a good one too with cinnamon. Yep.

The hachiyas, you know, the ones that absolutely have to be soft before you even think about putting one in your mouth, are a real treat. Super. But one is enough. Two gets me a bit over full.

I read a while ago where a raw fooder suggests eating 8 persimmons for lunch, and says it's easy to digest!! The first time it occured to me that persimmons are hard for me to digest was when I had only five of the fuyu type and nothing else. The fuyu I remember in the US and in Japan are hard, and crunchy. Korea has those too. Wonderful. But they also have one that looks like fuyu but is soft like the hachiya. Just went out of season so it's the hachiyas and the harder, crunchier ones left. Very nice. And there's a guy selling dried hachiyas at the local market. Cheap cheap cheap. Go in to any store and they're so so so much more expensive. I wonder why this guy's are so cheap. I buy a bunch and share them with friends. Everyone loves them.

Okay, NOW I'll get on to that email about my boss and I. It's getting late. I want to get this done though.

Troy.

HIYA!

It's been pretty cold here lately. Same temps as SF. Really very much the same. Worst part about it is cold feet. Can't seem to keep them warm at work. I'll look into getting some thermal socks. I bought some socks at a local store that the saleslady said were thermal socks. Maybe they're thermal in autumn, but not for me in winter.

I've been sleeping on the floor in the living room because it's so much warmer than the bed in the bedroom! The heating comes from a network of pipes in the floor that have heated oil running through them. I turned on the boiler about 8pm tonight, it's now midnight and I just turned the boiler off. I'll go to bed in a little bit. The living room should be nice and warm when I wake up in the morning. I've got two comforters that I use to help keep me warm in addition to the heated floor. I don't turn the heat up so high nor for so long. I'm told this way of heating gets expensive. I haven't yet seen a gas bill since I started turning on the boiler regularly.

I've thought about buying an electric heater but rejected that idea when I realized I'd be waking up to a freezing cold apartment. No.

Mm. Just wanted to mention this quickly before I get on to the entry about my boss and I.

Troy.