Thailand on Foot

My first whole day at the temple. So far so good. Joined the group for meditation last night until 9:30. Then headed off to bed a little earlier than the others. Got to sleep at 10 and woke up at 7am! Nice. Got lots of good sleep. Felt okay upon awakening. But I've never consistently slept enough so it really wasn't enough.

At 7am this morning I woke up to the old lady pounding on my door. So I got up, had some water, then went in to the kitchen. I intended to not eat. But, well, me and food, and eating! I told the monk that I'd really rather eat mainly fruits and vegetables and that I was okay buying my own fruits. He said the temple has fruits.

We talked for a minute or two then the old lady came in the kitchen. The monk told me we have some pumpkin porridge! I've always loved the stuff so I said I'd have some. Had some kimchi too. The monk told the old lady to get me some fruit too. So she went into another room and came out with one apple! She cut it in half, peeled it and gave me half. That's so so nothing. I can eat so many apples in one sitting. Anyway, I got full. I wasn't even hungry but felt sort of obligated to eat. I haven't yet made it very clear what and how I would like to eat here. But in a little while the monk, myself, and a few others will discuss the curriculum. So I hope to tell him then. And I'll have someone tell the old lady.

I feel like I can really make a raw food diet work here. I feel positive about it. My past hasn't given much of a hint of this possibility, but, anyway, I feel positive about it this time.

We'll discuss the curriculum regarding English education. Apparently nobody has a clear idea of what to teach and how. These are kindergarteners. I have some ideas as I'm sure others do too. Should know more a little later.

One of the people who will come tonight works for the immigration office. Last Sunday, when my ex-boss came and talked with the monk and with my friend Sunmi, the monk said he'd talk with this immigration guy to make sure there wouldn't be any problem with me working there. This is illegal! Everything about my current arrangement is illegal. And if I thought someone from immigration might get word of this through this blog entry, I wouldn't write it!!

In Thailand, Asoke monks made a point of being honest, and I am sure, staying within the law. They may have broken the law on certain instances but if so, I'm sure they had a

... I wrote all that last night in the office at the temple. I turned off the computer after the monk called me to go talk. The guy from immigration had come so the three of us, plus Sunmi, made four.

I'm at the dentist office now and must go sit in the chair. I've just been called.

Yeah, so, just what is going on in this life anyway?

Divorced, lost more than one job, unstable with sleep and eating. Seems like such a disaster. So unstable and ungrounded. Not really happy yet not really so unhappy either.

Yeah, I don't want to sugar coat anything. It's not a good idea to avoid the truth.

I don't know really what to say. I don't know why I'm so unstable and ungrounded.

However, I don't worry about it either. Should I?! Sure I'm concerned about my life. I want to feel happy, solid, content with life. I'm not though. But lots and lots of people who are unhappy, not solid, and not content with life don't have the same history as I do.

I find answers in Buddhism. So many things make so much sense. I have to admit though that I don't get solutions from Buddhism. Having said this, I also admit that I don't really practice with the utmost sincerity and determination. Having said this (!) it does seem to me that with the sincerity and determination that I have brought to my practice (= my life) I should be getting better results than this. I have no intention of giving up Buddhism.

Looking back on the past, I see that there have been times when I've lived under someone else's rules and guidelines and been fine. I didn't have so much difficulty in the Navy doing what I was supposed to do. (I didn't do a good job on my job, but that's another story.) What I'm referring to is the lifestyle. The rules and everything. I was okay with it all. And there've been times when someone has told me to eat only this and that for this many days. When we've been in close proximity of each other, I've been fine for the most part.

I feel that what I need is regimentation from the outside. The Santi Asoke group gave plenty of this. Yet there was so much freedom. The regimentation from the Asoke group was more like guidelines. You choose to follow the guidelines. If you don't choose to, and you are too far out of step, then there are consequences. I was never that far out of step. But my eating and sleeping behaviors were not stable and solid. Not by a long shot.

I do feel that the temple here will be better for me. I also understand that if there isn't sufficient motivation, something that comes from the inside, then whatever ideal, perfect regimentation won't amount to a hill of refried beans.

I'll know more soon. Then I'll post another entry. Now it's time to do a bit of packing and make some food.

I'm not discouraged about my life. I see this move as a positive thing. Getting fired was ... well, it may have been nothing more than a measure taken by my boss to defuse the problem with that girl's mother. I should've have mentioned in the first of these three entries that the girl's mother pulled her out of this school, and her son too. She demanded a refund, which my boss has refused to give. And most worrisome to my boss is that she said she'd post negative things somewhere on the internet about me. That'd smear my boss' school, giving him a bad reputation. So, perhaps he sort of had to fire me in order to help placate this woman. He told me that at least one other student's mother has said that this sort of behavior is typical of this woman.

I'm not taking this one incident so hard. All things considered though, of course I see a pattern, a "rut" in my life that is certainly a concern. I am not worried though. Not worried.

I believe that everyone can thrive in life. I haven't found my niche. I haven't found my place in the sun. Maybe I never will. Maybe I'll jump from this to that and all over "looking". I don't have any interest in getting a regular job. And in so far as history is an indication of the future, then a regular job isn't going to do me any good any way.

Counselling? May very well help. But in addition to psychiatrists, don't we also pretty much consider counsellors to be shrinks? If so, is this generally justified or not? In general, do counsellors really do many of their patients any good? I'm more interested in having a Buddhist as a counsellor.

Allright, enough. Now it's time to get on with other things.
Troy.

Allright, now the happy news. I'm glad about this anyway.

After talking with my boss, I went online to look for work. Then it occured to me that the temple has a kindergarten and that the monk once asked me to teach there in the mornings. I told him I couldn't because the contract I signed with my boss prohibits working for other people.

So I talked with my friend Sunmi that evening. She asked a lady who works at the temple. That lady asked the head monk. The head monk said okay, he's interested in hiring me.

So this past Sunday evening the monk, my boss, Sunmi, and I sat and talked. I will probably start Monday the 9th.

Teaching little kindergarteners. There are 90 kids. I might teach elementary school kids and some adults too. I don't know what times of day or anything.

The day starts at 9am and goes until 3pm. I don't know how many hours I'll teach or what hours. We've got some talking to do. There's no big rush on anyone's part to get organized.

My boss has been super helpful, cooperative, and understanding. I don't know if he's angry with me or not. He hasn't said he is, doesn't express it in any way. On the contrary, he expresses frustration with kids' parents. Saying this about them and that about them and how hard they make it to run a school. I haven't asked if he's angry with me or not. If I did, and he were to answer, I can imagine him telling the truth, but I can also imagine him lying about it. So I don't ask. It's not so important anyway. We're on good terms at least superficially.

The situation at the temple will be much different than at the school. At the school, I'm on my own with kids who very often don't listen to me, who understand what I say to varying degrees (pretty often many of them don't understand much), and, the great majority of them would never come to "study" if their parents didn't tell them to. I've asked many and it's always the same. Even with the kids who seem to have some interest, their parents tell them to come so they come. They wouldn't otherwise come.

At the temple, the Korean teachers will be there in the classroom. So they'll keep some semblance of order! Plus I've met many of the kids already and we've taken to each other pretty well. Not in a classroom setting but I don't expect a lot of difficulty either.

I don't speak that much Korean and I suppose most or all the teachers speak little or no English. No worries. Nobody who works at the temple seems to speak much English. I study Korean though and will study more when I'm there. Plus such immersion is the fastest way to learn. And Sunmi speaks great English and goes to the temple often. So I don't expect a lot of difficulty with communication.

I'll get less money for sure, but I'll also spend less money. I'll save less than I have been saving but I'm not so concerned about this. I will be able to meet my savings goal. Easily.

I don't yet know the details of my daily life. Regarding sleeping and food. Those are the two things that I'm thinking about most. I'll meditate every evening for two hours, joining the group that "sits" (does sitting meditation) from 8pm to 10pm. I want to do yoga at least a few times a week. I want to work in the garden. I want to study Korean for various reasons. I want to have a better understanding of Korean Zen (or Seon in the Korean language).

My two reasons for coming to Korea are to make money and to learn Seon. This is ideal. I can do both. Okay, this is not ideal. There's no enlightened monk here who speaks English.

Enough. One more entry in a minute to reflect on life in general and my life in particular.

Troy.

HIYA!

Bad news first. I got fired from the school I work at. Today's my last day.

The good news. I got a job at the temple I go to regularly.

Now some details. I have had a hard time with the kids since the beginning. The littler ones aren't quite as hard for me. It's the older little kids. Around 13 to 16 years old. Some are shy and disinterested, some are rowdy and rambunctious and disinterested. A few are interested and studious. I have three hours a day with the littler ones and two to three hours a day with the older ones. And three days a week I've been teaching adults. So most of the day goes pretty well.

But the class I call the class from hell had one girl who was just never really there. I have thought of ways to discipline such kids. One day I decided to threaten kids with a Wet Willie. Where you stick your pinky in your mouth, get it pretty good and wet, then put it in someone's ear. This is a Wet Willie, no? I tried it with some of the littler ones and they had fun running away from me. The one girl in this class from hell (these kids are little ones too, around 10 years old) just wasn't paying any attention and rarely does. So I went over to her and put my finger in my ear and .... She put her jacket hood over her head and stayed there. A few seconds later I noticed she was crying so I walked away. She put her face in her hands for the next 40 minutes or so until the end of class.

I had thought this might be a fun way to get and to keep their attention during class. Not for this one girl that's for sure.

After my last class of the evening, my boss wanted to talk with me. He said the girl's mom called and was furious. She said that this Wet Willie is a sign of affection in Korea. I didn't know this. My boss didn't know this. So I wonder if she just made this up.

My boss asked if I'd rather go to a different school, one on the mainland, owned by a person he knows, where the working conditions would be less stressful. I told him I'd go if he wanted me to go. He said let's wait.

That Wet Willie incident happened last Wednesday. Friday night he asked if I'd rather take the job on the mainland. That's when I said I'd go if he wanted me to go and he asked me to wait. Monday afternoon, before my first class, he asked me to leave.

So I guess I got fired. I haven't asked if this is the case. Anyway, it doesn't matter much. I'm out of this school. Today, Thursday the 5th is my last day.

More in the next post. I'd rather keep things pretty short. Feels better.
Troy.

For some reason Korean kids get an enormous kick out of calling someone crazy. So, just today my 2:00 class called the supermarket that they just finished "Crazy Troy's Supermarket". They love the name. One of the kids drew a balloon - which hardly looks like a ballon - and wrote on the arms (?!) "This is Crazy Troy". All good fun.

If this ain't crazy enough (!) try this. I've recently started teaching a few adults at the school where I teach. It's a private English language school which was set up strictly for kids. But somehow my boss signed a deal with a local exporting association to teach some of the members. I teach them three nights a week and it's by far my favorite class. Even more enjoyable than the little little kids who are so adorable.

Well, yesterday my boss told me that they're going to have a seminar today. And that they've invited my boss and me "to participate". My boss couldn't go but he said I'm free to go. He wanted me to go. And I was more than happy to get out of class, and, to go to the seminar.

He told me that I should quit my 4 pm class at 4:40 and get to the seminar about 5 pm. There'd be a dinner at 6. I couldn't see why I should go to a seminar that I'm not going to understand but I was happy enough at the thought of getting out of class, and, of being at this thing, just for the hell of it.

Then today I went in to work and my boss told me to go after the 3 pm class. The seminar started at 4. Why and how would I participate?! Well, I was thinking it'd be rows of seats and that I could sit in back and read my Korean language textbook. (I've been studying quite a bit lately.) No such luck.

I looked inside the room where we'd be and saw that there were half a dozen or so tables. Chairs all around. Damn.

The president of the association wanted me to sit at the front table. But I chose to sit at a back table with one or two of the students who come to class.

So for nearly two hours, I just sat there, looked around, meditated a little, went out for the bathroom and something to drink once, and, well, just sort of absorbed things.

The president explained to me that I'm really important to the goals of the association. That's why he invited me. I suppose that's the case. He's a nice guy.

The students who come to class know I eat only vegetarian. And that I eat mostly raw foods. So they weren't so surprised to see me eat all the salad stuff.

Thing that happens sometimes when you are in a new country is that you eat something you don't expect. I saw a plate with some shredded cucumber that had obviously been prepared in some way. I grabbed a bunch of it. Then seconds. It was on the second helping that I realized a fishy taste. I asked what it was. Jellyfish. I didn't go for anymore.

One lady told me it's okay. It's vegetarian food! Yeah yeah yeah.

During dinner, we sat at the table and had a nice meal and some good chit chat.

Though it seemed a bizarre thing, it actually makes lots of sense.

My boss wanted me to go and represent the school. I guess I made a positive enough impression on the 30 or so people who attended. I introduced myself very briefly and talked very briefly about the class.

And, since this is an exporting association, it makes sense that the more English these people know the better for them. There are I'd say at least 50 members of this association but only 4 or 5 attend class regularly. So, promote the English language class by having the teacher attend your seminar even though he's sitting there like a guy who is obviously a fish out of water. But even fish on dry land can have a good time.

We've talked about going out for dinner soon. As a class. As a classroom lesson. At a local restaurant that I mentioned. They have some Korean food that I'm interested in trying out. And it'll be a good way for them to apply restaurant language in a real life situation.

Enough,
Love at ya,
Troy.