South Korea

HIYA!

Work life has been quite a challenge lately. Man. Students just don't repsond like I feel they should. I need to accept that. I was getting really frustrated. And angry. This led to difficulties with my bosses (the man I call my boss, and his wife, who is the legal owner of the school, and indirectly, a boss).

He and I've had a few talks. I know I shouldn't get angry with the kids. I know they don't understand. I also feel that we adults don't understand but that's a whole different story. (One quick note on this is that I feel that education is tantamount to hammering, bashing, and pounding a square into a round hole.) The last teacher didn't last but a few months because he was too angry with the kids. I don't want to go that route. Really don't. I know that I've got to do something different with this anger toward the kids. This gets so incredibly frustrating though.

I do everything that I can to not get upset. But man o man, you should see the circus in some of these classes, the contempt I get from most of the students in one class, and the deathly silence that other classes smother me in. How in hell can anyone see the charm in these kids? I do, honestly. Actually, I really do see it often. But only in the younger ones. The 10 year olds and younger. Once they get older than this, many many of them start getting clever and just shitty in many ways.

I have all sorts of things to tell myself why I should not get upset with them. When I'm mindful of myself, I do much better. But there are times when I get pretty wound up and then lose it. I snap.

I refuse to quit. I have set myself a solid goal that by the end of my one year I'm going to be just fine with all this. My goal is that there will be nothing that the kids can do to throw me off balance. I will not get upset with any of them, ever, for any reason. I don't feel I've set myself too-high-a goal. I don't see that this is easy for me, but not impossible either. I have every intention.

And when I compare how I am these days with how I was in the first month plus, I see that I'm in better spirits these days with the kids. Part of it has to do with settling in to the routine and becoming familiar with it all. Part of it has to do with being in better control of the material and more comfortable with it and so with myself. Part of it has to do with knowing the students better. There are lots of factors in this improvement.

The most important one though is the internal one. I have the intention to not get upset. Not for any reason.

I'll write more in a minute specifically about difficulties with my boss.

Troy.

HIYA!

I'll do another meditation "retreat". This will be at the temple where I go regularly. I'll start on the 24th or so. This will be in combination with a fast.

My friend Sunmi told me some of the details and it sounds impressive indeed. I don't know about water intake, but the only other thing we'll take is bamboo salt. I'd never heard of bamboo salt before coming to Korea but think I had it once. The first day I went to the temple, a lady brought me and another guy some boiled potatoes with some super fine salt. Sunmi told me a couple of days ago that that was bamboo salt. It's salty, like other salts. I don't know how this differs.

She said wake up time is 3:30. Sitting and walking meditation. I don't know how much of either and at what times. The killer is that this retreat includes three hours of walking in the nearby mountain! On a fast?!?! And in winter! Wow.

But I am no guinea pig in this. They've been doing it for years now, in both winter and in summer. I didn't arrive in the country in time for the summer retreat and don't know if I'll be able to do it next summer with the group. My work schedule may not allow it.

I will do this fast alone. That's because I will work early next year when everyone else will do the fasting retreat. I won't be alone all day every day though. I'll be at the temple and others will be around. Sunmi will interpret a meeting with the head monk every day.

I won't be at home during this retreat and won't check emails. I'll send something afterwards.

I will start work again on Jan 2. There will be lots of new students and we'll start using at least one different textbook, which I should familiarize myself with beforehand. Plus I should make lots of materials for school during the first week or two of January. It'll be a rough month. It'd be nice to take care of things during the week vacation. But, it's vacation and I don't want to work during vacation. I'll write more about work in another entry in a few minutes.

Troy.

HIYA!

I decided to go out and challenge the cold. Without my big jacket that doesn't keep me warm anyway. To my shock and amazement, well, I was somewhat shocked and amazed!, I was not so cold at all. Despite the wind. I walked to the market in part to look for a warm jacket at a low low cost. Didn't find anything. I've seen some on the sidewalk, at a small stall set up selling cheap cheap clothing. $5. I have decided to try one on. Didn't find anything today quite that cheap. $30. I've decided that if I spend any more than the $5 or maybe $10, then I'm going to get a good jacket. From Patagonia. Because I like their environmental policies. I can get some models here in Korea. I don't know what the temperature was this morning but it couldn't have been much more than 10 degrees celcius, or in the mid-40s, I guess. Maybe upper 40s. Cold, anyway. Then, after the temple this evening, I got in the car of the lady who takes us all home, and saw the termometer in her car said 6 degrees! I was dressed the same way that I was in the morning and wasn't overly cold. I walked to the temple, so that helps warm me up, for sure. But still, I was really surprised. This time I was shocked. But I would like to have a warm jacket because it's really nice to feel toasty warm. And as often as not, I am not walking. I'm pretty cold at school. Buildings are often colder than the outside cold. Or maybe it just feels colder. Whatever, I would like to have something warmer at times. We have heaters at school but in the little office where the teachers sit, there usually isn't a heater. We don't spend much time there, usually. So one isn't necessary.

Ah,
Troy.

HIYA!

Friday night, after work, I bought a stone (granite I think) fry pan. I've been thinking I wanted to buy a fry pan. I found a stainless steel one (I don't want teflon coated ones) but didn't buy it because I wanted to compare prices. Then I thought about a stone pan. I don't know where I got the idea but it really intrigued me. So I jokingly asked a few people about it. Only one - a student - gave me a positive answer - that such a thing existed. So I asked the boss' wife and she called a place that she knows, told me they have stone fry pans and the price - about US$18. So I went and bought one. It's really neat. When I got to the shop and saw it, I said, "Of course. I've seen these before. At those restaurants where you grill the meat yourself at the table." I'll take a picture of it someday.

I haven't used it yet because I got the idea - from where I don't know - that it might need to be oiled or somehow treated before using it. So I looked around on the internet and found something that suggested it should. But no details. So I asked a few Koreans here but they all say nothing special is needed. No instructions came with it. I've thought about asking the boss' wife to call and ask the shop owner but she's so busy and ... never mind. If I damage it because I didn't treat it first, well .... I doubt it.

One of the first things I want to make is a kind of pancake. A Korean style one. I bought the mix and used it once. But at the time I didn't have a fry pan. Only a pot. So I put some batter into the pot and cooked it. Didn't work too well. Before I finished I heard some snapping, cracking, popping that I couldn't locate. Turns out that the pot has a lining or something on the bottom. It's a sheet of metal that is (still partially!) attached to the bottom, outside of the pot. Well, it started peeling off, I guess because of the heat. I've steamed potatoes and sweet potatoes a few times with no trouble. But this time I didn't put any water into it because I wanted to use it as a fry pan. Now I'm guessing that pots can't be used as fry pans! Shoot. My boss loaned this to me. So I went out and bought a new one. The pancakes that I tried to make didn't turn out so well. I don't know if they'll turn out well with this stone pan.

And there's a local food that I love to death. It's a buckwheat flour pancake rolled up with some shredded giant Japanese radish, some chopped green onion, and some toasted sesame rolled up inside. These are delicious. And a little while ago I found a recipe in English on the internet. Doesn't look hard to make but a couple of people have told me it is hard to make. The lady who I buy this delicious food from at the fresh outdoor market not too awfully far from the school said she'll show me how to make it next time I go get some. I was shocked to see that the recipe calls for PORK FAT! I'm going to learn to say "pork fat" then ask the lady if she uses it. I suppose I'd know the smell and taste and would immediately reject it just from the smell. So I suppose the one I get at the market doesn't have pork fat.

Anyone interested? Need buckwheat flour, nothing else is unusual, unless you're not familar with those enormous white radishes. Some Americans seem to know them by the Japanese name of "daikon".

One of my favorite meals is to take a few bananas and some vegetables and blend them up. Wow. A bit of cinnamon is nice, and / or some ginger. A tiny bit of garlic doesn't hurt. Some goji berries (aka wolf berries) is great with just bananas.

Troy.

HIYA!

I've been watching it on the internet for about 10 days or so. Since a day or two after it's inception. I like it okay but honestly, there's nothing so special about it for me. I'm glad to see what it's like but it's pretty tame. I often feel like Democracy Now! and even National Public Radio provide more thought- (and sometimes emotion-) provoking news.

I've known the name Noam Chomsky since universtiy and have been listening to lots of his lectures since I first arrived here in Korea. In some of his lectures he says that Al Jazeera is democratic and so of course, successive US administrations have criticized it.

Then when I heard on Democracy Now! that they were going to start broadcasting in English and that it would be accessible via the internet, I decided I wanted to watch. Glad to watch it but I don't see or hear anything spectacular or that I couldn't get in much more mainstream news programs. They even have sports. Yuck!

There's not that much criticism of the US. Certainly more critical of the US government than Fox News (which I used to watch in Thailand) but nothing that I've heard so vociferous against the US. A little while ago there was a show with a guy from the Iranian government, a guy from the Iraqi government, and a US military man in military uniform. The American was hardly sidelined, he got just as much respect and attention as the others, arguably even more than the Iranian.

And though the focus is on the Middle East, there is coverage of news around the world. There's a wide variety of programming. But the news show gets too much air time for me and the stories are too few. So there's lots of repetition, it seems to me. But this is a brand new program and who knows how things will develop. David Frost has a show on Al Jazeera Int'l but I haven't yet watched.

I wonder how this English language version compares with the Arabic language version. Some of the newscasters and others (like the weather lady) are white while some are not. I don't think I've seen any black hosts or hostesses but it's not all people from the Middle East by any means.

They say that no other news program has been launched on this scale. They say that billion English speakers around the world are watching. That's really hard to believe.

Enough,
Troy.