Oct 2006

HIYA!

I teach only Monday to Friday from 2pm to 8pm. I look forward to the two hours that I have off in those times. They're a nice break. I'm the only foreign teacher; there are three others, all of them Korean, one of them is my boss. They don't work as many hours as I do. None of them sees all of the kids. They each take a set of the children to teach English grammar, pronunciaiton, and what else I don't know.

We haven't had a meeting nor have I had any training. There's a system here that I don't know. It's called Butter English but I don't know how it works. I don't know where I fit in. I know pretty well what I'm supposed to do but also know that I have lots and lots of freedom in the classroom. Whatever I see as appropriate.

I don't like the way this school works. There's no coordination amongst teachers as to what each of us teaches. So I'll teach, say, the Simple Past Tense, while another teacher teaches the same class prepositions. This is just an example I made up. I don't know exactly. But if that teacher were also to teach Simple Past Tense, students would understand my lesson much better, there would be more cohesion to the students' English language learning, and, just maybe, they'd be a bit more interested, and might even learn a little. They might become able to use the language. A little bit anyway.

As it is, most of these kids can hardly put three words together. Oftentimes they'll blurt out one or two words, sometimes they make sense, sometimes they don't. There isn't relaly much language ability being demonstrated here. My boss says that the past four years his kids have won the speech contests that are held among all the 7 schools using the Butter English method here on Jeju Island! If these kids are the most capable on the island ...!

I've told my boss my feelings regarding cohesion of the curriculum. About making lessons more coordinated among teachers. He says he'll change everything but has asked me to "endure" things the way they are until the end of the year. He's really busy. But he's honest so I believe we'll make some changes. He has told me the difficulties of making the curriculum more like the way I have told him I think is better. He agrees but says it's really really hard.

It's really frustrating for me when I teach the words "going to do" as in "will do" where the "going to" is not the verb "to go". The kids don't seem to already understand that this is not "to go". Yet explaining it to them and getting them to use it correctly is a real battle. There are other examples like this but never mind.

I've recently been adjusting my teaching style to use the books less. I really don't like them and the kids don't seem to like them much either. But I tell them that we can't play bingo all day every day. I have been using more games though because they're more fun than just drilling and doing the boring stuff all the time. I prefer to use material from the lessons for the game but that doesn't always happen. I'm trying to make the classroom environment more enjoyable for the kids as well as for me.

Plus I see that it's really a good idea for me to be able to speak Korean. Wow. So often I want to explain to them but just can't. I don't want to ask for help from others but have on rare occasions. Things would go so much more smoothly if I could communicate a bit in Korean. This is one of the things I've just started to learn: classroom Korean. Things like "Please read" and other things. I want the kids to understand these simple things in English though. But when I speak English, many of them just don't pay attention. Speaking Korean gets their attention much more. I suppose even that though, will wear off as they get more accustomed to hearing me speak Korean!

Enough, I'll write more about teaching in the future.

Troy.

HIYA!

I've been going to a temple nearly every evening, after work, from about 8:15 to 10:00 for meditation. There's a small group who go just about every night from 8 to 10 for meditation. I joined them. Sit from 8 to 9 then walk or relax for 10 minutes, then sit again until 10. It's a Seon (Zen in English / Japanese) temple.

We sit in Seon style. There are so many styles of meditation that you couldn't count them all. Adherents of this style, like adherents of all styles (and of probably anything you can imagine, not just meditation), say this is the best style. They say this is the most direct way to realize the truth of existence. The shortest, surest, most direct way for enlightenment. I don't have any opinion regarding this. I just want to try out Seon (Korean Zen). So I'm glad to do this.

The thing to do while sitting is ask over and over again, "What is?". "What is?" "What is?" "What is?". Well, I still don't know but it takes most people years and years and years to get it. Years and years and years. Most never get it, I'm sure. Maybe some get an inkling. I think most get an increased sense of peace, are better able to deal with various "difficulties" in life, and other benefits. These are benefits that people get from all styles of meditation, or so they say.

But really, I don't know yet how Seon differs from Japanese style Zen. Or from any other style of Zen. The monk from the temple where I go has said it's unnecessary to read books! So I haven't read any. He's got a book in English by a respected Korean Seon monk, a book that I've read is a great book, but which I haven't read. I'm interested really, but he says that he doesn't follow, or teach the same style. I haven't asked why he has the book. Who knows, maybe someone gave it to the temple. But just recently a lady that I know at the temple suggested a website that explains lots of things. I've started reading it. I haven't gotten around to much of it yet but it looks good so far.

The purposes of Buddhist styles of meditation are two. One is to become more calm and peaceful. The other is to realize the truth. Once you realize the truth, so they say, you automatically let go of all attachments. You cling to nothing. This realization of the truth is the most exhilirating thing that can come into a person's life. So they say. By saying that a person automatically let's go of all attachments, stops cling to anything, is not to say that a person becomes cold, callous, indifferent, and uncaring. Just the opposite, in fact. Once you see that there is "no self" then you stop going after things in life that don't contribute to the real quality of life, and aren't important. You start contributing more to the well-being of others. I won't describe any more than this. I don't have any insight into this other than what I have read and heard. I myself cannot say that I have ever experienced this feeling.

Having said that, I'll say that there was a moment, many years ago, long before I ever learned of Buddhism, I may have gotten a glimpse of what it's all about. There was a moment, I don't know what precipitated or led to this moment, but there was a mild, moderate feeling of nothing. It lasted only a moment, and really, I don't know what else to call it. I don't know how else to describe it but feel that to say that it was a feeling of nothing, doesn't really describe it very well. It was a fairly profound moment, unlike any other that I can remember ever.

Back to the temple, I go every Sunday. I've gone for the ceremony, then for lunch, and then for some chit chat and tea with the monk and other lay people. Usually I arrive just after the Dhamma Talk (teaching / preaching / sermon) has ended. Join everyone for lunch. I like the people and the atmosphere there well enough. Everyone's congenial and friendly. I feel they're genuine.

Last Saturday, some people went for lunch and an informal meeting with the monk. Lunch was in his meeting room, a small room big enough for about 10 people to sit on the floor. This is where we go after lunch for tea and chit chat. Not only chit chat but also for some real talk. Last Saturday there was a guy who came who, it seems, likes to talk about Buddhism. I really couldn't say what the content of what it is that he talked about with the monk, but I get the feeling that he likes to think. This is a no - no in Seon. It seems ridiculous to say thinking is a no - no, but I won't get into this. Never mind. It was entertaining to listen and watch the other people. The room is this intimate little place to sit and talk. In the past, I'd feel stifled, and really uncomfortable. But these days, I feel just fine sitting there with people that I don't know well at all, listening to people speak in a language that I do not know. I can laugh and smile enough. I feel okay actually. It's enjoyable, in a way. Of course, the thing to do is not pay so much attention to what others are doing, but to what my reactions and responses are. How am I? What am I doing? What am I thinking?(!) What am I feeling? Know, then let go. Be okay with whatever appears within. No judging, no holding back, no prohibiting, no anger, no nothing negative about what emerges from within. Just be okay. And just know "What is".

Of course, this word meditation is not just about sitting, or walking meditation. But it's the way to live all the time, all day, every day. Ask "What is?" all day every day. As much as possible. The place in life where I most often am not okay, hardly okay, is whenn it comes to food cravings. There are times, for sure, like just yesterday just before going into school. I let go of the craving, and actually felt better for it. It was a really really nice feeling to have let go. But it didn't last. About four hours later I appeased the craving! And it didn't end there. But at least I don't kick myself for appeasing those cravings and eating as I do. I never kick myself anymore. Can't say that I feel good about it, and often enough feel sort of bad about it, but I don't hate myself and get angry at myself. That's a positive.

The temple, again, quickly. I have been thinking for a long time to stop going to this temple. There are three temples really close to my apartment. I want to go to one of them to see if there's a group of people meditating every day. I don't like getting home so late, between 10:15 and 10:30 every night. My boss gives me a ride home out of the school every night, takes me to a place where I walk a few minutes to the temple. It's really just that I don't like getting home so late. So if there's a group of people meditating at a temple near here, I could just go there. But I feel strange about the idea of not going to meditate with the group that I've become friends with. I intend to go someday.

I'll just stop here.

Troy.

\

HIYA!

I've finally made peanut butter. It's real easy and it tastes good. Just like the stuff in stores. I was thinking to buy peanut butter from the US - through the mail - because I really like it, and it's a useful food for the way I like to eat. Then I saw a peanut butter maker online. Thought, "Ah, now I've got it. I'll just make my own. Much cheaper and everything." Then I saw a recipe that said you can use a blender. I've read this many times but the times I've tried it it never worked. I've never wanted to use additional oil though. This time I broke down and added the 1 teaspoon of oil that the recipe said to use. So I did. One cup of peanuts and one teaspoon of oil. Blend away. Comes out peanut butter. Actually, it's not real real easy. It's gooey and the peanuts don't blend so very easily. At least not in the tiny blender I used. Anway, I won't buy a peanut butter maker anytime soon.

Korean food, for the most part, is okay with me. But I prefer to eat the way I've been eating for quite a few years. Mostly raw. I find the food to be very spicy. Not spicy hot so much as very very full of flavor. It's so, so, so, rich, I guess. I don't know really how to explain what I don't like so much.

There are some wonderful foods that I eat fairly often. There are these little buckwheat pancakes that the lady who sells them on the street rolls us with some shredded Giant Japanese Radish, a bit of sesame oil, some sesame seeds, and some soy sauce. MMMM. I once went to a vegetarian restaurant and had a potato pancake. Also really really yummy. I want to learn to make these things so I can make them at home. I've steamed potatoes and sweet potatoes, next I'll steam some pumpkin because I love all these foods steamed.

I have lunch at the temple every Sunday. It's organic and vegan. Tastes okay for the most part. There's this little pancake thing that they put vegetables in that I like.

Fruit is really expensive here so these foods help keep the cost of fruit down. Just yesterday though I got a really good bargain on a box of grapes. A 5 kg box. I will let you figure how many pounds that works out to. About 12 pounds?! Yeah, must be. Wow. I gave away a bunch to my boss and the rest I'll eat up in a few days. They're not organic, nor is most of the fruit that I buy here, but in Thailand I learned to wash produce using a bit of baking soda and water. Let the produce sit in the solution for 20 minutes then rinse well. So I always do that.

I just bought some vegetables yesterday at the fresh outside market not far from the school. It's a kind of mallow. Very nice. And cheap. Might be organic even. But I still wash it. Many Koreans, it seems, don't know this. I got some seeds from a friend at the temple and planted them yesterday. She said I could plant them now. But I read on the internet last night that they're a summer vegetable. That's in the US. So I don't know how well they'll do over winter here.

First day of rain we've had in a long time. I'll go out and plant some vegetables that I dug up from the temple. Wild vegetables that I ate a lot of in Thailand. Koreans don't know it, just like Thais don't know it. But we ate it a lot when I lived at the temple in the north of Thailand.

This is all for now.

Ah, I got some organic vegetarian kimchi from the people at the temple and I eat it often. I like kimchi pretty well. I want to learn to make it. They'll make it later this fall. I'll help.

And the landlord's son gave me some of the Korean miso that they've made for their own use. A lot. I like it okay but doubt that I'll eat it all up in the one year I'll be here. My boss says it's "proven" to be good for your health! Something about cancer, I think he said.

Troy.

HIYA!

The tilde means "fairly". I don't suppose I'll ever lead a strictly conventional life. Views and beliefs and such are too different. But this life here ain't so bad. I've got lots of free time, I've got plenty of comfort, freedom, enough money, friends and other things I need to live a fairly satisfying life. I don't want to live like this forever though.

I would like to devote myself much more to growing plants, to landscape, and other idealist things that interest me. But I expect to realize those things more once I find a place to live.

There are lots of positive things about living like this. I listen to music that I like. I eat food that I like. I plant vegetables that I like. I am learning language which I've always enjoyed doing. I'm going to start doing yoga as soon as the DVDs arrive. I'm glad to have a group to meditate with regularly and be a part of the temple community.

I contribute things to the little community there that I feel they appreciate. I talk with the little kids who speak English (incredibly well for their young ages), introduce them to wild edible plants that they know nothing about yet which are all around them, I am always in a really good mood there and it shows, I'm sure. I smile and laugh often. I am polite with the people there yet not so polite that we feel distant from each other. At least I don't feel distant from them.

I maintain email contact with several people in Thailand. Hi Nuch!
I listen to Democracy Now! online as well as National Public Radio. I'm happy to get news and feel that these two give me a breadth and variety that are adequate for now.

This is enough, huh?
Troy.

HIYA!

Finally did it. Downloaded some pictures. Glad to have it done. They're in my photo gallery, somewhere. Hunt it down and you'll see three pictures from this museum. The 4th and 5th of October were holidays and so we were off. The boss' daughter's family came down from the Seoul area for a visit. She wanted to go see the Africa Museum so her daughter could get some exposure to Africa. The girl's about a year old but I suppose there was some sort of impact on her life. Especially the music at the end. What a performance.

When we arrived at the museum, the first thing we went in to see was a lot of murals and huge photograph copies. I noticed that absolutely every picture was a picture of the "bizarre" tribal folk of Africa. Guys and maybe a few women wearing this and that hanging from this or hanging from that, piercing this and piercing that. It's all fine that these pictures were shown. It occured to me though that if someone didn't know any better, they'd think that this was Africa. Sure, it's part of Africa. But there's so much more to the continent. I've hardly been to the continent myself, but, hey, just listening to the news, you know there are cities there too. In fact, I feel pretty confident to say that most people in Africa weren't represented here at all except to say in that there was a similarity in skin color. Some of the pictures and other representations were neat in themselves. It's just the overall portrait of "This is Africa" that I suppose many people walk away with. The "bizarre" part of the world.

We ended the visit with a music show. The performers were great. So I thanked them afterwards. Really enthusiastic and seemed to genuinely enjoy what they were doing. But it was in the tiniest of rooms and the energy and volume that they created was way too much for the room. I mentioned afterwards that they should play outside. A Korean staff guy said they sometimes do play outside.

I enjoyed the performance mostly for the enthusiasm that they expressed both in their beating the drums, in their voices, in their bodies, and on their faces. Smiling and laughing and just really seeming like they honestly enjoyed what they were doing. They beat the drums a lot, sang a lot, and danced a little. But like probably every other performance it was really just that. A performance. There was no context. Well, the Korean lady may have explained a bit about the songs but, that could hardly suffice for a real understanding of the whole thing. Singing, dancing, playing the drums. All of this has a context. A cultural context. And, for me, unless the setting is in the context, it means nothing to me. Sure, pretty girls may dance around on a stage with charming dance moves, dressed up in beautifully adorned clothing ("costumes") but ... so what?!

Four people performed. Three guys and a lady. The lady is attractive and also seemed to have a good time. So visually, she added to my enjoyment of the show.

It was a good trip because I made a little connection with probably everybody from Africa who lives on this island. From Cameroon, I think. They all live and work at the museum.

Troy.