Apr 2006

HIYA!

I am sending this to my mom but thought, "This is something I can put on my blog too."

For your entertainment:

Wow, flying to Pocatello, Idaho isn't any cheaper than the cheapest airfare that I've found to Thailand! Zowie. And I was shocked to see that gas is more than three bucks a gallon! Shoooksujojadlj
But I'm glad it's so damned expensive. Maybe it'll be another NUDGE for those Americans who are callous and apathetic to get off their fat asses and out of their mush brains and start converting to more sensible ways of living.

Like walking more. I've been walking so much lately. I love it. I came out today for a walk knowing that I'd look for an internet shop too. The website that I have the blog on has a policy of not allowing it to be used as a business tool. Like looking for contacts overseas. Well, recently an email came from someone looking for someone to contact four gold sellers here in Thailand. I answered it even though I had vaguely remembered reading this policy. The lady - Bonita, in the US I think - said it'd only take about 30 minutes. Well, it's taken a little more than that but no problem. She asked how much we'd (I'm sure that that initial email went out to all the "Traveller Helpers" listed with Travellerspoint.com) charge for the 30 minutes. I thought about it, and typically, I came up with a low price. First I thought about 500 baht, which is I think about $12 or $13. Then I thought, "That's ridiculous for only about 30 minutes." Then I mentioned in my email $5. Then, without deleting the $5 I said, no, a pound of organic prunes is fine! I love prunes! Bonita contacted me saying okay. So the first thing I did today on the internet was contact her. I told her that if she's satisfied with my service (how do you like that?) then I'm okay doing more in the future. And if she wants to refer anyone to me, then that's okay too. Just as long, I said, as I don't get SPAM out of it too. She responded saying that she's satisfied with my service but didn't say anything about more in the future or refering anyone to me. I thought about how cheap this must be for her. Of course. But I really didn't know how much to charge. I just thought really about what I want. I am not going to make much out of just doing this once. At the time I decided on a charge, it didn't occur to me that I could perhaps make some money doing this. Honestly, I really don't want to work for luxuries anyway. And things like gold, which are extracted from the Earth. You know, I've just convinced myself. I'll only do this once. It ain't worth it. Thanks Troy. No problem, pal.

I talked with the one monk that will go to Burma yesterday. Still going. The only thing I don't like is, well, there are two things. One is, that I keep pushing my "start date" back. It's been a good month now that I've been intending to walk. The monk told me that he'll start sometime after May 2nd as he's decided to participate in the demonstrations against Thaksin Shinawatra, the former? care-taker prime minister. That demonstration is scheduled for May 2. After talking with a friend, I pretty nearly decided to go to. The things that guy Thaksin has apparently done are atrocious. What audacity. To do these things to so many tens millions of people, many of whom are quite poor, and many many of whom voted this man into office twice. Though I'd like to hear something from his side of the story, all I'm told is that he doesn't answer. Questions are posed to him straightforward and he'll answer with something completely irrelevant. And there are other things that he's apparently doing to keep people uninformed about what he did since he was elected the first time.

I wonder what you have heard or read about Thaksin and the political turmoil this country has been going through lately. Is there a pro-Thaksin slant? I haven't looked around on the internet at all.

I don't think I'll walk alone. Though I feel that to sometimes walk alone would be better. Seems like I have a walking partner. That's one thing I'm not feeling good about. I'm not only putting myself off by delaying the walk, but I'm delaying him too. He's been ready for about a week now. And he was ready in late February. Then during the traditional Thai new year period, at the middle of this month, he was travelling with his wife. But aside from this few days, he's been ready since February! It's been raining so much lately. In spurts for the most part. But nearly every day. It does provide some cooling from the stifling heat but of course also tends to increase the humidity.

My friend and I were in Chiang Mai, in the north, for about a week, visiting a friend and staying at the university student's dorm that he is managing. And we visited the land that he recently bought. Also visited the place where I did a workshop on alternative home-building two years ago. They've got mostly adobe homes (clay houses) but there are a few that are not only clay. Some of them are so nice. If I ever really settle down, and I do expect to, I would really like to build one of my own. They can be done so incredibly beautifully, for so cheap, that last so long, and don't have to be "dirty".

While in Chiang Mai we walked hours and hours every day. Except for one or maybe even two days. It feels so good to be walking. And walking ... and walking ....

The day before we left we went to an Israeli restaurant that we'd eaten at about 5 or 6 years ago. It all tasted great. Not long after leaving though we both felt thristy, and not very well. I felt really hot inside, which I've only felt once or twice in my life. My friend had the runs the whole next day and felt terrible the whole day. I didn't do as badly. I called the restaurant to see if they use MSG and the lady said no. I'm told that these are signs of having eaten food with MSG in it. I've apparently gained (not won!) an intolerance to MSG. I ate at a veg restaurant recently and my face was swollen the whole next day. To be fair, though, I was told that they don't use MSG either! I don't very often eat at restaurants but it I think I will become more careful than ever about what I put inside.

Enough. Troy. This is the end to the odds!

HIYA!

My translation work for the temple is over so a friend and I are visiting another friend in Chiang Mai, a city in the north. We all know each other from the temple we all lived together at, called Phu Pha Fa Nam, several years ago. Good guys, I like 'em both.

The day my friend and I, his name is Somchai, left BKK, I walked from his house to the bus station. He would'a come with me but had some bad stomach problems. Took about 5 hours. It seems that it's about 20 kilometers away. I really enjoyed the walk. One, walking is just great. And two, this is the Thai New Year season. That means it's a three-day event. The Buddha said you get five benefits, personal, health benefits, from walking. I can see that I may very well realize them all during my trip if this past few days of lots of walking is any indication.

Since this is traditionally the hottest time of year, a custom was born to honor older people with water that you add a nice fragrance to. You pour a bit over their hand then show some respect. Very nice. Well, it's been twisted and distorted into something quite different. A real blast, almost litterally.

Out on the streets it's water fighting time. People toss water all over the place mostly aiming for each other. It's a fun time. Well, walking from Somchai's house to the bus station I got doused and splashed and bashed with enough water to bathe me and wash my clothes several times over. I showered and washed my clothes before leaving Somchai's house but that was ridiculous in hindsight. I slept like I've never slept before on a bus. Amazing.

That day Somchai felt like hiking up a mountain that is just by our other friend's house. His name is Woody. We left the house at 7am or so and got back about 6:30. Wow. What a walk that was. Forests are so beautiful. Never mind all the trash that littered the entire walk. For sure it's disgusting. How could people be so careless? Go to a forest for the beauty of it then litter it to sickness. Just the same, forests are majestic. Just look at the bark on a tree. Any tree. Zowie.

Took five hours to hike through the forest and make our way. Couldn't find a trail so we went along the water. At one point I slipped on the slippery rocks and fell a little skinning and bruising myself. Still hurts quite a lot when I strain it while walking. I haven't given it any rest either.

Then we walked most of the night around a part of the city. Got back after being on foot for about 18 hours.

Then this morning I came to the northernmost point in Thailand. Mae Sai city. On the border with Burma. There must be some people in the Burmese military government who see the viciousness of it all but it sure seems the majority do lots and lots of wicked things. Recently they moved their government headquarters to a remote city north of the former capital, Yangon (formerly Rangoon). According to the newspaper I read, the government officials didn't inform the population or even the government workers. Unbelievable. How on Earth...? Even more unbelievable (truly - I don't believe this one despite my feelings towards American governments) is that I heard the reason they moved the government headquarters is that they're afraid that the US is going to bomb the country. Just can't believe this one.

I have a lingering question that, for some reason, I never think to ask when I am in the presence of immigration officials. But why should I have to leave the country just to stay? My visa expired today so I came to the border, to leave the country, to come back in, to get another stamp in my passport, to stay another 30 days. So what's the purpose of it all? Well, the only thing I can see is that some people in the Thai government have that much more work to do. Oh, and I spent some money on transportation, food and water, and a place to stay the night.

That brings me up to the present.

HIYA!
I could call it a neat experience. It was. On April 16th I saw a physical therapist in front of the Santi Asoke temple in Bangkok. At first I just went in for a consultation regarding a couple of things. Turns out she's (she's a she) fairly attractive, I guess a bit younger than me, and likes to touch, it seems. As she explained things to me she kept hitting me gently on my arm, as if to emphasize a point.

She told me to come back later for an extended consultation because she had patients waiting. A consultation turned into some treatment. I've had some pain in my neck for some months now and would like to take care of this before I start walking. Plus a couple of other things.

Anyway, she pushed, twisted, tugged, pushed, and pulled. Like a chiropractor I guess but she insisted that she's not a chiropractor. She's a physical therapist. Oh.

The notable thing for me was the feelings that arose in me when this lady was doing all this work on me. No, that's normal. The notable, the interesting thing for me was my internal reactions and responses to all this. I noticed that I really enjoyed being pushed and twisted and everything by this lady. I mean, I enjoyed the sexual feelings that arose. I am pretty darned certain she felt something too judging from our banter back and forth. She said once or twice that she really enjoyed talking with me and I told her the same.

Most enjoyable for me was that I was completely okay with telling myself most of the time - between brief sexual fantasies - that this is not right for me. I didn't reject the feelings that arose but I just looked at them and felt them. Observed them. Okay, thatwas the neat part. Like watching a movie or something. Detached from it all yet not at all detached. It was me yet I was watching myself. And under these circumstances to be as removed as I felt, so unattached to the feelings, that was special, and still is.

I was smiling most of this time, at least inside. I think the corners of my mouth were turned up as she tugged and twisted and everything. I told myself that married life is inconsistent with what I want to do in the future.

At one point I had a negative feeling arise when I thought about the household life. Having all sorts of accumulations. All sorts of things in the house that make life comfortable and everything. I don't want that. I don't mean that I don't want comfort. What can I say? I don't want a lot of stuff. Either internally or externally, inside or outside. Lots of things on either side naturally makes for lots of things on the other side.

I've been doing this more and more, even with food but that's quite a bit more difficult! Bizarre!

I've got another appointment with this physical therapist on the 26th of this month. Wow. What's going to happen? But, I'm firm. No relationships for me thanks. Just not that interested in it all.

Enough. Troy.

Nobody minds that I categorized this as "Women" huh? I had many to choose from but none at all fit very well. None at all fit very well most of what I write.

HIYA!

Wow. Really? I can only say for sure that I'll probably go to Burma at the beginning of May. A monk has said he wants to go and has asked me if I'm interested. I told him I am. At first he said he'd go to northern Viet Nam. Then when I called to tell him I wanted to go he told me he'd go to Burma instead. Then he said he might go to northern Viet Nam also and maybe also to a place in the south of China. I told him that anywhere he goes I'm interested in going too. I have always thought of this guy as a solid and stable person but now I'm wondering if he's more wishy washy than I'd ever imagined. Who knows. If we do a month or more of walking together I'll know him better. I should know myself quite a bit better too! And another monk has said he wants to go too. This should be a good experience. If we do in fact go. The monk said we'd do some hithchiking and some walking. I'm more interested in the walking but hithchiking'd be another experience.

I'm now at a temple in BKK helping some people with some translation of Buddhist writings. The temple is Santi Asoke. Just about finished.

Just last night a good good friend - the guy who invited me to walk to China and Tibet - asked if I wanted to visit his home in Chiang Mai in a few days and stay for a few days. I told him I'm really interested. The work I'm doing now should be finished by the time he wants to go. My visa expires on the 15th of this month. It'll be an easy and convenient trip to the border for another stamp which'll put me in the country for another 30 days.

Then this morning some ladies I've been working in the same office with asked if I were interested in visiting an Asoke community that I've been wanting to visit for an awful long time now. If I go there I'll leave here on the 18th, 19th, or 20th, I guess. I don't know how long I'll stay there if I go. After that there's a big Asoke gathering for 7 days that I may or may not go to. After that the walk to Burma should happen.

I sent emails to some English camps last night. Got a reply from one that I've done a couple of times in the past. She didn't say that I'm hired but said she'd see if she can "squeeze" me in! Thanks! I was so surprised to have found so few English camps on the internet. Maybe it's just too far ahead for them to have posted their listings. I'll look around more if I don't get word soon that I've got this one camp that I've done already a couple of times.

Hoping you're all bright and cheery and that life is warm and sunny. Wow, is this a bit too much?! Okay, then how about this. I hope that everybody's life is just as you wish it to be. Better? No? How about this. Let go of everything and accept whatever is! Best.

Troy.

HIYA!
So, I did a breathing course called Art of Living. It is best to maintain awareness while doing the breathing exercises. I've always had such a hard time maintaing awareness. Actually, I don't even know the difference between concentration and awareness. Never mind, I'll just say awareness.

Anyway, I did the six day course and liked it. Really did. About three hours a day. It's a version of Hinduism, I'd say. And we had a bit of theory. I liked that part too. I like all this stuff about the reality of existence. Lots of the theory seems to me consistent with Buddhism, which makes sense that it would be.

They say you should do the exercises for at least 40 days after the course. Solid. Don't miss a day. Well, I did miss one day last week. But even today, when I thought about chucking it, I told myself that it's not a good idea to chuck it. Like the teacher said, she used to tell people, if you have to miss a day, well, then you have to miss a day. But then people'd miss a day here, and miss a day there. No, tell yourself that you'll not miss a single day. So, I have been really good about it. I've made time for myself in the morning. They say that if you do it straight for 40 days it'll become a part of you and if you miss a day you'll not feel right.

It takes about 25 or 30 minutes I guess. First I do some yoga-like exercises called the Five Tibetans, then I do the breathing exercises, then I do the sitting meditation. It all takes about an hour and 15 minutes.

This morning I felt really really good after doing the exercises. Really good. I sat there in meditation aware of the really good feeling in my chest area especially. Really nice. Better yet it lasted for quite a while. Though for sure the good feeling faded somewhat even before I finished sitting meditation, never mind, I still felt good a while after finishing. This is the very motivation I probably need to keep me going. There's been nothing that I can think of in my life that has made me feel like I want to continue doing it. Oh, jogging once made me feel really good afterwards. But I like this better.

I can join other people doing this once a week for a longer version of the breathing exercises. I went once.

Can't say that my awareness is any more solid for doing these breathing exercises but I do feel more relaxed when I realize that I've been daydreaming during meditation. That's a positive thing.

I actually feel a little uneasy about having learned this, about practicing it regularly, and especially about telling people I know - like you all - that I do these breathing exercises. It's because I've read where people criticise all these health fads, help-yourself this and that. I realize that I'm really sensitive to other people's opinions of me and what I do. I identify myself as someone who's doing one of these "health fads" then feel defensive because of the criticism. But when I'm aware, I tell myself that I'm being defensive, allow myself to feel this way, then let it go. Someday I suppose I won't feel defensive in the least.

I'm glad to do these breathing exercises as I believe breathing to my lungs' full capactiy is probably more useful to my health than even healthful eating.

Enough.

Troy.