The Retreat

HIYA!

I guess it's time to get around to writing about the cleanse that I did at the end of December.

I started on Saturday, the 23rd? I met the monk that morning and he asked me to stop eating that day. I had thought I would eat the rest of that day and Sunday too but decided I'd just do what he asked. I'd had breakfast but nothing after that.

My friend Sunmi translated various things. We sat and talked for about 20 minutes I guess. He said I should exercise twice a day, roughly 30 minutes or more, and vigorously enough to break into a little sweat. I should wake up at 3:45 and go to the temple for the morning ceremony with another monk. That lasted from 4:00 until about 4:40. I should take about a teaspoon, three times a day, of this bamboo salt. Do as much meditation as I can, an hour at a time if I can. Walk a little in between sittings. And do some yoga. He gave me a little instruction on meditation. I think that was about it. He's really a friendly guy. Lay people here believe he's enlightened. I have no feeling one way or another. I just give it the benefit of the doubt that he is enlightened.

I worked a few hours Sunday and afterwards went to the temple to start my program. I meditated alone that night. Then went to bed about 10pm. Pretty tired so sleep came easily. Got up at 3:45 the next morning, headed to the temple for the ceremony but didn't really understand what to do so I copied the monk's moves the best I could. The monk who does the ceremonies is not the guy who they all say is enlightened. This other guy and I don't communicate much. Not that we could because we don't speak each other's langauges. After the ceremony I sat and meditated until around 9 am. Sitting on and off. Doing some chanting on my own. I like the sound of the chanting and they say it helps you to meditate.

Well, I can make a long story short. I was exhausted by the end of the day, and pretty much all day the two days I was there. So little sleep. Had I done this with a group there would have been more stimulation and I would not have been so energyless all the time. Plus the exercise really sapped my energy. I slept on and off during the day. I didn't feel like pushing myself.

So Wednesday morning I decided to return home. I told a lady, then left. Got home and slept! I continued the fast / cleanse, and some meditation (but much less) and continued the exercise (about the same as at the temple). But got much much more sleep and so felt much better. Also took some sugar for some energy. But really it didn't give me any energy. It's just that the monk ok'd it so I wanted it. It tastes good! Brown sugar. Not just the white stuff with molasses mixed in.

Ten days of this and I'd had it. I really wanted to eat on about the eighth and ninth days, I guess it was. The craving lessened a bit on the ninth and tenth days, I guess, but I was going to work on that 10th day so wanted to eat.

I ate. Had ten tangerines that 10th day. I thought I might have tons and tons of energy but didn't really notice anything much. But the next day, I had a small breakfast and then had a fairly normal amount for dinner. Didn't sleep at all that night. Not a wink. And wasn't sleepy at all either. Right into the next day. Whenever there's a day that I don't sleep at all one night, I'm hurting the next day. But not this time. I know it's not a good idea to not sleep, but there was just no way. So I studied a lot of Korean language that night!

In summary, I'm glad I did it. No regrets. Tomoko once told me she doesn't ever want to regret anything. - Are you there Tomoko? - Regret is a choice. I choose not to regret. I tell myself pretty often that I'm not going to regret what I'm doing. I don't always like what I do but I never regret anything I do. I might do this again in the summertime. But if I do, I don't want to do it alone.
There's a group that is finishing up either today or tomorrow. Seven days. Some will fast longer but the meditation period is over I think. I went to the temple several times to meditate with them, and to give my support. I see that it must have been a very different experience for them. Very different.

I lost some weight but don't feel weak in the least. I have just as much strenght as ever. I look thinner in my face and certainly look too skinny in my body, but I don't worry too awful much about it. As I exercise more and do yoga, my body will fill out. My eating is getting more and more sensible all the time too. That helps.

Ah, enough,
Troy.