First week of camp

HIYA!

Today is Sunday and I've been making lesson material all day. I'm done for the day, I suppose. I'm glad I spent the time. It's been productive. So it should be easier to get to sleep at a reasonable time during the week.

I've been enjoying the camp well enough. It's not great been going great, but this is certainly the best camp I've done so far. That's because I'm better prepared, better organized, and more open to the kids than ever before. I get better and better at these things. And I'm glad. Really.

But still, I don't know what to do sometimes. Like, when kids aren't interested, how in hell do you get them interested? Of course, it may be impossible. But it may be my technique that for some reason isn't working. I've decided to make the lessons easier. And I've decided to stick with things that have worked fairly well so far. Spelling games, enjoyable pronunciation exercises (sound like an oxymoron?!) are working well enough. Did a math game that went pretty well.

These are the lowest level kids. They are 9 to 11 years old, I think. They know less English than any of the other kids at the camp. I was told they are at the ABC level. Well, they can all speak and read and write though not all that well. Still, far more capable than I had been told. I was really interested in teaching the very basics. Thought it couldn't be so hard. So I revised my general plan after the first day.

The best thing about teaching, in a way, is having relationships with the kids. Just being people with people. Instead of being teacher and student. Sometimes it feels pretty good. But other times, wow, it's a push, which doesn't feel so great. I don't want to push myself to enjoy being with the kids. But I don't want to hinder it either. It has been happening more and more at each camp but, wow, sometimes it feels so foreign.

I've been asking myself recently, just what it is that is so adorable about kids. I know that there are people who just love being with kids. There are people who just detest being with kids. And of course, there are those who neither love nor detest being with kids, but can tolerate them okay. I don't mean at this camp specifically, but just in general, in life.

Yesterday I asked a teacher what it is that some people so like about kids. She is not so sure either. She's feeling similarly. One thing she said is that some of the kids can be cute. Okay, I can see that too.

I remember reading in The Three Pillars of Zen by Philipp Kapleau that people who have the same vibration frequency will get along well together. And vice versa. Same with a person and a place. Places also have an energy vibration, or "vibes" I guess we sometimes call it. I've often looked at relations with people in this context. And especially with kids. Picture this: a room of 10 kids, six or seven are running around or playing that creates an atmosphere of commotion, one or two are sitting quietly at their desks doing whatever, and I'm working with one or two. It's noisy and there is a general feeling of commotion, a cacaphony of sounds and motion. The energy vibration in this way doesn't feel calm and peaceful to me.

I know I'm not calm and peaceful in my own life. But for me to have all this commotion bash my senses (mostly my ears) is really draining. I ask myself, what is so endearing and charming about kids in such a situation?

The answer to me seems really to be about a person's internal environment and has little or nothing to do with what's going on without.

I told this other teacher yesterday that I really invite her ideas on this idea (what's so charming and endearing about kids?). I enjoy tweaking, twisting, turning inside out and upside down my way thinking about things and looking at the world. So, I feel really open to changing my way of looking at kids. I welcome anyone's ideas, comments, questions, and anything else that may come along.

I'll write one more in a minute. About my job search.

With Childish Love (REALLY?!),
Troy.